Monday, June 05, 2006

To Live is to Fly

Air Transat Flight # 703
London (Gatwick) to YVR
Seat 44F - Right side of Middle Aisle
Estimated travel-10 hours + 8 hours back in time!

Just boarded. Fuck is this ever going to suck. Twinges of excitement upon hearing the awesomely Canadian accents of the stewardii. Fuck. Chatty American rowmates Ron and Betty interfering with the reception. Betty is Freaking Out. I am poisoned.

Betty is moaning about getting the middle seat and PICKING AT HER FEET! Cue the screaming children.

Betty examines foot yield. I'm thirsty.

Safety announcements:"In the event of a crash landing, you can protect yourself by adopting the bracing position." Seriously.

Every second person on this plane is reading The Fucking Davinci Code. Punters. They have finally hosed the dead hooker off the runway and we are taking off. Betty is paralysed with fear which is keeping her silent.

21:45 (over Keflavik)
"All love is true in different ways." Hmm.
Just watched Cassanova starring Heath Ledger.
Q: If I lived in a time when you could get hung for cheeky beliefs, would I still be so bold?
A: I think I'd be the same.
Or, am I just hanging myself due to the distressing/intoxicating amount of freedom/disinterest?
I'd wager that the whole Dying for Beliefs gig was generally done by people on that mission anyhow. Like how people who want to have babies get pregnant. I think there's no stronger belief than Life is Shit and if the punishment is death so be it! She died for her beliefs. She died from her beliefs. Now, is it all the late nights and vino that's led me to this Life is Shit conclusion, or was it this conclusion that led me to all the late nights and vino? I never got into Townes Van Zandt before but suddenly his lyrics are resonating with I-Ching like significance. Troubling to find oneself suddenly relating to a dead, clinically depressed alcoholic, and little else.

Fun With Dick and Jane. Jim Carey, Tea Leoni. Rubbish. I miss Paul. His STOOL'S funnier than this shit. Nay, His stool has chunks of guys like Jim Carey in it!

Pride and Prejudice. Kiera Knightley. Can't feel my leg. Crap headphones. Can't really makeout all the words but shall not attempt to convey the depths of my misery. Don't know about Mr. D'Arcy. So tired of that whole, "Oh he's not an asshole, he's just shy!" business. Plus I'd wager he only did all those nice things for the family to get into Elizabeth's knickers.

Hour 7

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

One more hour to go. Full on thrombosis setting in. Betty is getting cranky saying "This is the worst plane I've ever been on!" Yeah, well lady, nobody said time travel was easy.
The pilot just came on: "We're gonna get you on the ground in the next 35 minutes." Hopefully we'll all still be in the plane when that happens. I feel like shit. Shit with chunks of Jim Carey in it. Everybody loves Raymond.

Ladies and gentlemen we have started our descent intoVancouver


At 10:34 AM, Anonymous gerry stefanson said...

hi-di ho,
how was the international life?
fast cars,good wine,rocking out all the time .
to keep the party rolling we sure would be happy to have you out to Castle Mtn. Resort for our 12th Huck-Fest by yourself would work or with a friend or two!we get going sat. aug 12th,
call or e-mail ah or nigh 1 403 627-4022.
Happy Trails


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